Joined: 24 Jun 2003
Location: GIJON - ASTURIAS
|Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:49 am Post subject: Medicautions
|I found this in my e-mail and just cracked up:
(lo siento, pero no puedo traducirlo porque son juegos de palabras):
Newest Medicautions -
(whisper) -side effects with use of all these drugs may definitely occur.
St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing memory thus causing MOM [aka you] to have total recall of how your teenagers almost caused endless turmoil, and total insanity.
Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. (Warning!! Do not use if already taking dumerol!)
Dumerol: Helps classical music lovers loose IQ points, therefore causing one to enjoy country western music.
Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters (especially in California) by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers aka the California howdy.
Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we have sexual relations now?"
Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-all: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Michael Jackson on child rearing.
JackA**pirin: Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Rageamet: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.