Perros de caza / hunting dogs

Jokes & more<br>
Chistes y más

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Terechu
Moderator
Posts: 1540
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:43 am
Location: GIJON - ASTURIAS

Perros de caza / hunting dogs

Post by Terechu »

Me acabo de acordar de una anécdota verídica, contada por el protagonista mismo, Alfredo (nombre ficticio), un ex-compañero de trabajo, y que tiene mucha coña, porque él mismo tardó en darse cuenta de su propia tontería.
Alfredo, es de esas personas que hablan con tanta autoridad y aplomo que la gente acaba creyendo que la tierra es plana si él lo dice. Y Guillermo dice muchas barbaridades y es un borde, pero su porte elegante y su apostura hacen que la gente le escuche.

El caso es que, según nos contó, estaba en Extremadura pasando unos días con la familia en casa de unos amigos. El amigo era cazador y Alfredo le acompañó un día a cazar perdices o algo por el estilo. Cogieron los perros y antes de subir al Land Rover entraron en el bar del pueblo a desayunar. Allí había otros cazadores que también habían madrugado, también con sus perros. Estaban tomando el café en la barra cuando se les acerca uno de los cazadores y les dice: “Bonitos perros. ¿Son de pluma o de pelo?” Queriendo decir, por supuesto, si eran para cobrar pájaros o conejos. A lo que Alfredo le contesta impaciente: “ De pelo, joder, que ye que no lo ves? Dónde viste tú alguna vez un perro de pluma?” El pobre hombre sólo contestó “Ah, claro.” y se retiró sumido en la confusión.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just remembered a true anecdote, told by the main character himself, Alfredo (not his true name), a former work colleague. I think it’s very funny because he was a long time realizing his own stupidity.

Alfredo is one of those persons who speak with such authority and assertiveness on any issue that people end up believing the Earth is flat, if he says so. And Alfredo says a lot of foolish things and is rude into the bargain, but his elegant bearing and good looks make people listen to him.

This is how the story goes. He was spending a few days in Extremadura visiting at some friends’ house with his family. His friend was a hunter and Alfredo joined him one day to hunt partridges or something like that. They took the dogs and before getting into the Land Rover they went into the town’s only tavern for breakfast. There were other hunters there already, with their dogs as well. While drinking their coffee at the bar one of the other hunters came up to them and said: “Beautiful dogs. Are they hair or feather dogs?” Meaning, of course, if they were for retrieving birds or rabbits. To which Alfredo answered impatiently, “Bloody hair dogs, of course, can’t you see it? Who ever heard of a dog with feathers?!” To which the poor man only replied “Ah, yes, to be sure.” and withdrew in a state of confusion.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Art
Site Admin
Posts: 4489
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2003 4:50 am
Location: Maryland

Post by Art »

Good one! I sometimes wonder how many times I've made similar blunders and never realized it!

----------

¡Estupendo! Algunas veces me pregunto si he metida de pata igualmente y no lo supo.
User avatar
Bob
Moderator
Posts: 1772
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2003 3:54 am
Location: Connecticut and Massachusetts

Post by Bob »

The medieval distinction, at least in certain parts of Europe, was based not on the prey but on the way in which the dogs functioned. If my memory is correct, there were (in English) rachets, which hunted by scent, and coursing hounds, which hunted by sight. Does anyone know the castellano or asturianu equivalents for these terms?

Bob Martínez
User avatar
Terechu
Moderator
Posts: 1540
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:43 am
Location: GIJON - ASTURIAS

Post by Terechu »

Art wrote:Good one! I sometimes wonder how many times I've made similar blunders and never realized it!

----------

¡Estupendo! Algunas veces me pregunto si he metida de pata igualmente y no lo supo.
Probably not, Art. This guy is a special character. :)
Just to highlight how surreal he is, a few years ago during the last strike we staged, we used to hold assemblies in the yard every morning to hear what the Union guys had to say and what the company management had offered, etc. When they finally agreed to raise our salaries half a point above the annual inflation rate and the Union representatives wanted us to vote on whether to go back to work and continue negotiating the list of our other demands, etc. (imagine a group of 300 people, mostly welders and metal workers, impatient and frustrated, having been on strike for almost a month without pay) almost everybody was in favour of going back to work. Just when we had our arms raised to be counted ....here comes Alfredo...
Alfredo: “You guys are going back to work? OK, first I need something explained. What about the pension plans for those of us who are eligible for early retirement within the next 5 years?”

...300 people waiting, cussing under their breath, waiting for the Union to break off the assembly, some telling Alfredo to shut the hell up and why didn’t he show up in time like everybody else ...

The Union spokesman explained that pension plans had not been discussed.
Alfredo: “Well, then, what about getting the Company to pay the laundry bill for the work clothes?”
Union: “That item was not on the agenda, it was not discussed.”
Some of the workers thought it was a good idea, though, and it should be included. More cussing.
(Alfredo, by the way, is a draftsman and doesn’t wear work clothes)

After the Union reps ruled out including any new demands, Alfredo went on:
“OK, what happened to the bonus for on-time delivery that the shop personnel was supposed to get?” (Again, he’s not shop personnel.)
Union: “That was granted last year already, man!”
Alfredo: “Oh, I didn’t know. So what did you negotiate then?”

The Union reps explained the whole thing all over, for Alfredo’s benefit. After at least 20 minutes of arguing back and forth we finally voted again, about 250 votes in favour of going back to work, 50 votes against, and one abstention: Alfredo!

“It’s just that I don’t care one way or the other.” He said smiling. :lol:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seguro que no, Art. Alfredo es un personaje especial.

Para que veáis lo surrealista que es, hace unos años, durante la última huelga que tuvimos, manteníamos asambleas en la explanada de la factoría todas las mañanas para ver que nos contaban los del Comité de empresa, que ofertas había por parte de la empresa, etc.
Cuando la empresa por fin accedió a subir los sueldos medio punto por encima de la inflación y los representante sindicales quisieron hacer una votación para ver si queríamos volver al trabajo o seguir negociando todos los puntos de la lista de reivindicaciones (imaginaros a un grupo de 300 personas, mayoritariamente soldadores y caldereros, impacientes y frustrados, después de haber estado en huelga casi un mes sin cobrar), la mayoría quería volver a trabajar. Cuando estábamos levantando el brazo para el recuento...llega Alfredo...


Alfredo: “Así que volvéis al trabajo? Vale, pero yo quiero que me aclaréis una cosa. ¿Qué pasa con el plan de pensiones para los que dentro de 5 años podríamos acogernos a la jubilación anticipada?”

...300 personas esperando, algunos maldiciendo por lo bajo, esperando a que el Comité de empresa disolviera la asamblea, otros gritándole a Alfredo que callara de una p--- vez y que por qué cojones no había llegado a la hora, como todo el mundo. ...

El portavoz del Comité explica que los planes de pensión no se habían debatido.
Alfredo: “Bueno, y que tal si la empresa se hace cargo de los gastos de lavandería de la ropa de trabajo?”
Comité: “Ese asunto no estaba en la agenda y no se trató.”

Aquí algunos de los trabajadores consideraron que era muy buena idea y que habría que incluirlo. ...Más juramentos...
(Alfredo, por cierto, es delineante y no usa ropa de trabajo)

Cuando los del Comité descartaron incluir nuevas reivindicaciones, Alfredo siguió:

“Vale, y qué pasó con la prima por entrega en plazo que se le iba a dar a la plantilla del taller? (Nuevamente, Alfredo no pertenece a la plantilla del taller.)
Comité: “Esa prima ya se aprobó el año pasado, tío!”
Alfredo: “Ah, no lo sabía. Entonces, qué es lo que negociásteis?”

El Comité volvió a explicar todo de nuevo para Alfredo. Después de unos 20 minutos de toma y daca finalmente votamos si volver al trabajo o no, unos 250 votamos que sí, unos 50 que no, y hubo una sola abstención: Alfredo!

“Es que me da igual una cosa que otra.” dijo sonriendo. :lol:
Last edited by Terechu on Sat Jan 22, 2005 7:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Bob
Moderator
Posts: 1772
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2003 3:54 am
Location: Connecticut and Massachusetts

Post by Bob »

This may be a bit off topic, but there is certainly a humorous element to it. I was president of our faculty union for over 30 years (I helped start the union and was personally involved in negotiating over a billion US dollars in contracts over the years, all as a unpaid volunteer). I was countinually astounded that after hundreds of hours of negotiations that finally resulted in a settlement (and, of course, dozens of newsletters to our members), some of my colleagues would ask why we had never tried to negotiate this or that. The answer was always that no one had ever asked us to do so.

There is absolutely no answer to such an inquiry that is at the same time both truthful and polite. I'm afraid that I often erred on the side of truthfulness.

Bob Martínez
User avatar
Art
Site Admin
Posts: 4489
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2003 4:50 am
Location: Maryland

Post by Art »

Alfredo seems intentionally irritating...in addition to being ignorant.

-------------

Me parece que Alfredo molesta intencionadamente....además de ser fatu.
User avatar
Terechu
Moderator
Posts: 1540
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:43 am
Location: GIJON - ASTURIAS

Post by Terechu »

Bob wrote:This may be a bit off topic, but there is certainly a humorous element to it. I was president of our faculty union for over 30 years (I helped start the union and was personally involved in negotiating over a billion US dollars in contracts over the years, all as a unpaid volunteer). I was countinually astounded that after hundreds of hours of negotiations that finally resulted in a settlement (and, of course, dozens of newsletters to our members), some of my colleagues would ask why we had never tried to negotiate this or that. The answer was always that no one had ever asked us to do so.

There is absolutely no answer to such an inquiry that is at the same time both truthful and polite. I'm afraid that I often erred on the side of truthfulness.

Bob Martínez
Bob, that's just how it is! I have known people who after 12 months of gruesome negotiations and when everybody is absolutely fed up and ready to capitulate, they come up with yet another extravagant demand that nobody really cares about, but is enough to drive everybody crazy.
User avatar
Terechu
Moderator
Posts: 1540
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:43 am
Location: GIJON - ASTURIAS

Post by Terechu »

Art wrote:Alfredo seems intentionally irritating...in addition to being ignorant.

-------------

Me parece que Alfredo molesta intencionadamente....además de ser fatu.
Art, he IS irritating, but not intentionally. He's just that way, and oddly enough he's very popular and people laugh when they tell you anecdotes of his comings and goings. He has great personal charm and is a good sports, but sooo "fatu"!

-------------------------------------------
Art, si que es irritante, pero no a propósito. Es su manera de ser y lo raro es que cae bien y la gente se rie cuando te cuentan las anécdotas de sus peripecias. Tiene mucho encanto personal y es buen compañero, pero tan fatu!
User avatar
Art
Site Admin
Posts: 4489
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2003 4:50 am
Location: Maryland

Post by Art »

Well, my view of humanity is that we're all capable of being both lovable and imbeciles, so I'll accept your word that Alfredo is a charmer. Some of us are "characters" more than others.

---------------

Bueno, pues, a mí me parece que la humanidad es capaz de ser tanto encantador como fatu. Por eso, admito lo que dices: que Alfredo es adorable. Algunos de nosotros somos "typos" más que los demás.
Fonzu
Posts: 43
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2003 8:04 am
Location: Maryland

Perros de caza

Post by Fonzu »

Bob,

Volviendo al tema de atrás de los perros de caza, de pluma y pelo.
Los perros que pertenecen al grupo de los "Hound" serían los que en España se conocen como Sabuesos, que son unos y otros perros de rastro, es decir que localizan a la presa que persiguen olfateando en el suelo, localizando primero y siguiendo después su rastro o "trail". A su vez de estos los hay de "cold or hot nose" nariz fria o caliente, los primeros localizan por el olfato el animal que no hace mucho que paso por cierto lugar, mientras que los de nariz fria o cold nose, tienen un olfato mucho mas desarrolado y pueden identificar un rastro o trail de un animal o persona aunque haya pasado muchas horas antes (hasta 4 dias se han conocido casos) el mejor ejemplo de estos últimos es el conocido Bloodhound o Saint Hubert, que se usa frecuentemente para entontrar personas desaparecidas dias anteriores o presos que se hayan escapado.


Los de Pluma pertenecen al grupo deportivo los mas conocidos son los de la familia pointer, retriever (o cobradores) Setter y spaniels y a diferencia de los hounds o sabuesos, estos de pluma localizan la presa con la nariz levantada, orientándose y localizando al pájaro por las partículas que este deja en el aire "air borne"

Y siguiendo con los de caza, existe otro grupo que pertenece también a los Hounds pero que persiguen a la presa usando la vista "eyesight" y valiendose de la tremenda rapidez atrapan a la pieza, normalmente liebres , conejos e incluso zorros. Los típicos ejemplos de este grupo son los galgos "greyhounds" Afgan hounds, Borzoi, Pharaoh hound, saluki ...

El tema es interminable y lo conozco bien, si teneis alguna pregunta, adelante...

saludos

Caxigal
Post Reply

Return to “Humor”