Humor asturiano - Asturian humor

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Cuentos, rituales, costumbres, y más.

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Carlos
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Humor asturiano - Asturian humor

Post by Carlos »

Una vez yera un matrimoniu y'l maríu dedicábase a pescar nos ríos, pero yera muy raro que pescara daqué. Y un día foi mui ceo a pescar y pescó nueve truches. Llegó a so casa percontentu y dixo-y a la muyer:

-Güei tuve suerte, pesqué nueve truches. Prepárales mientres voi buscar al cura pa invitalu a merendar con nosotros.

La muyer preparó les truches y dixo:

-Voi comer una, pa ver cómo tán.

Comióla, llambióse y echó mano d'otra, diciendo:

-¡Tán bones! Voi comer ésta a ver si sabe tan bien como la primera...

Y comióla.

-¡Bah! -dixo ella-, de les tres que me toquen yá nun queda más qu'una, voi comela.

Comióla, y miró pa les otres y dixo:

-Voi comer una de les del home. ¡Asina! Ésta yá tá dientro. Y la cosa ye que me paez que saben meyor que les míes. Saldré de duldes comiendo otra.

Comióla y siguió diciendo:

-Pa lo que falta... Voi comer la otra y entá queden tres, una pa caún. La verdá ye que güelen bien. Voi comer la del cura... Tá riquísima. A ver si aquélla gusta tan bien como ésta...

-¡Vaya si tá bona! ¡El cura si quier truches que vaiga pescales! Voi comer la que queda pa quitar el gustu de les otres...

Llegó'l maríu col cura y preguntó-y a la muyer:

-¿Yá tán les truches preparaes?

-¡Yá, yá! ¡Tán preparaes! Pero siéntese, señor cura, siéntese aquí.

Sentóse'l cura y la muyer llamó aparte al maríu, y dixo-y pelo baxo:

-Afila bien el cuchillu pa partir el pan.

Y dixo'l maríu:

-Corta abondo ensin falta d'afilalu.

Y dixo-y ella:

-Tienes qu'afilalu, pero ¡antaina, antaina!

El maríu marchó afilar el cuchillu y la muyer-y dixo al cura:

-¿A que nun sabe usté lo que tá faciendo'l mio home?

-Meca, pues non.

-Pues tá afilando un cuchillu pa corta-y a usté les oreyes según diz elli. Pa mi que-y dio una aventada. ¡Escape, señor cura, marche! ¡Corra, corra!

El cura echó a correr, y dixo-y ella al maríu:

-¡Sale, sale! ¡Que'l cura marchó coles truches, míralu per ónde va! ¡Corre, corre!

Salió'l maríu y dixo:

-¡Señor cura, señor cura! ¡Deme una o dos!

Y dixo'l cura:

-¡Nin una nin dos,
les mios oreyes
nun son pa vós!
:lol:

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Translation by myself & Reverso:

Once upon a time it was a couple and the husband was walking going fishing in the rivers, but rarely he was fishing something. And one day went to go fishing very early and fished nine trouts. He came very happy to his home and said to his wife:

- Today I have had good luck, have fished nine trouts. Prepare them while I am going to look for the priest to invite he to lunch with us.

The woman cooked the trouts and said:

- I am going to eat one, to see how they are.

She ate it, the lips were licked and seized other one, saying:

- They are good! I am going to eat this one to see if it tastes so well as the first one...

And she ate it...

- Buh! -she said- of the three that belong to me already does not stay any more than one, I am going to eat it.

She ate it, looked for others, and said:

- I am going to eat one of those of my husband. This way! This one already is inside. But it seems to me that they taste better than mine... I will solve the doubt eating other one...

She ate it and continued it saying:

- For the few that rest... I am going to eat other one and still they remain three, one for each of us. The truth is that they have very good smell. I am going to eat the one that corresponds to the priest ... Oh, it’s so good! I’m going to see if that one is glad as this one...

- Really it has it! If the priest wants trouts that he is going to fish them! I am going to eat the one that remains to remove the taste of others...

Little later her husband accompanied of the priest came and asked his wife:

- Are already prepared trouts?

- Yes, yes, already they are prepared! But seat, mister priest, seat here.

The priest sat down, and the woman called apart her husband and said to him in a sigh:

- You sharpens well the knife to divide the bread.

And the husband said to her:

-It’s not necessary to sharpen it, it works very well.

And she answered:

- It’s necessary that you sharpen it, but quick, quick!

The husband went to sharpen the knife, and meanwhile the woman said to the priest:

- Do you know what my husband is doing?

- Not, Heaven, I don’t know it.

- He’s sharpening a knife to cut your ears, as he says. I believe that it has given him a mental crisis. Leak, mister priest, leak! Run, run!

The priest ran with all his forces, and she said to her husband:

-Go, go! The priest is escaping with the trouts, look at it where he goes! Run, run!

The husband went out in pursuit of the priest, and said:

- Mister priest, mister priest! Give me one or two for me!

And while he was running, was saying the priest:

- Neither one, nor two!
My ears are not for you!
:lol:

(Traditional Asturian folk tale)
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Art
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Post by Art »

That's very funny because even though she's gluttonous, she's smart enough to get away with it!

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¡Qué graciosa! Es glotona, pero bastante aguda salir impunes.
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